Braman's Lair of Evil

graium @ 2006-02-26T19:21:00

2006-03-01T19:21:31Z

i'm gonna take a fucking sledgehammer to that cunting NMR machine

graium @ 2005-11-14T11:47:00

2005-11-14T11:58:52Z

'lo all - i know i've kinda been neglecting lj recently, but hey, what can you do?

just thought i'd share the irony that they played "God save the Queen" on the radio this morning to celebrate Charlie-boy's birthday. Made me chuckle anyway...

oh yeah, and i love Brixton so much it almost scares me. (Well, it does scare me. Not so much the love, more the Yardies, but then nothing's perfect)

graium @ 2005-10-13T12:11:00

2005-10-13T11:12:11Z

Housewarming party at my place, saturday, sometime after nine. Come! I may be extremely trashed.

Ignoble awards

2005-10-10T12:38:14Z

http://www.improbable.com/ig/ig-pastwinners.html

selected highlights:

MEDICINE: Gregg A. Miller of Oak Grove, Missouri, for inventing Neuticles -- artificial replacement testicles for dogs, which are available in three sizes, and three degrees of firmness.

LITERATURE: The Internet entrepreneurs of Nigeria, for creating and then using e-mail to distribute a bold series of short stories, thus introducing millions of readers to a cast of rich characters -- General Sani Abacha, Mrs. Mariam Sanni Abacha, Barrister Jon A Mbeki Esq., and others -- each of whom requires just a small amount of expense money so as to obtain access to the great wealth to which they are entitled and which they would like to share with the kind person who assists them.

PEACE: Claire Rind and Peter Simmons of Newcastle University, in the U.K., for electrically monitoring the activity of a brain cell in a locust while that locust was watching selected highlights from the movie "Star Wars."

ECONOMICS: Gauri Nanda of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, for inventing an alarm clock that runs away and hides, repeatedly, thus ensuring that people DO get out of bed, and thus theoretically adding many productive hours to the workday.

NUTRITION: Dr. Yoshiro Nakamats of Tokyo, Japan, for photographing and retrospectively analyzing every meal he has consumed during a period of 34 years (and counting).

PUBLIC HEALTH: Jillian Clarke of the Chicago High School for Agricultural Sciences, and then Howard University, for investigating the scientific validity of the Five-Second Rule about whether it's safe to eat food that's been dropped on the floor

and my personal favourite:

FLUID DYNAMICS: Victor Benno Meyer-Rochow of International University Bremen, Germany and the University of Oulu , Finland; and Jozsef Gal of Loránd Eötvös University, Hungary, for using basic principles of physics to calculate the pressure that builds up inside a penguin, as detailed in their report "Pressures Produced When Penguins Pooh -- Calculations on Avian Defaecation."

graium @ 2005-07-11T17:02:00

2005-07-11T16:24:32Z

Everything you need to know about the British, our outlook, our history and the present situation can, in my humble opinion, be summed up on one quote, paraphrased from somewhere Seb linked to:

"We've been blown up by a better class of bastard than this!"

Anyway, in order to get over it Suze and myself had to go clubbing in London over the weekend. And since we were burning with fear in our northern, southern, eastern and western quarters, we had to consume a fair quantity of alcohol and then thrash around furiously on a dancefloor to put ourselves out.

Living in a state of terror is fun!

Lab etiquette tip #36

2005-05-13T12:12:17Z

When an experiment, against all odds, actually works, it is generally condsidered bad scientific practice to dance about the lab, repeatedly asking the experiment in question Who Its Daddy Is. This is the case even if you think everybody else has gone to lunch and no-one will see.

graium @ 2005-03-20T23:39:00

2005-03-20T23:41:11Z

"this bus driver has taken his bus off its route in search of crack cocaine"

i love lowest-common-denominator-with-dodgy-moralising TV :D

and why is it that crack is innately funny?

graium @ 2005-03-18T18:38:00

2005-03-18T18:39:25Z

anyone need/know anyone that needs a place to live next year? if so, point them in my direction! we need at least 1 more person before we can sign the contract!

graium @ 2005-03-09T09:50:00

2005-03-09T09:51:02Z

Fenrir
You scored 60% Esotericism, 84% Power, and 54% Malevolence!

Fenrir (or Fenris) is a gigantic and terrible monster in the shape of a wolf. He is the eldest child of Loki and the giantess Angrboda. The gods learned of a prophecy which stated that the wolf and his family would one day be responsible for the destruction of the world. They caught the wolf and locked him in a cage. Only the god of war, Tyr, dared to feed and take care of the wolf. When he was still a pup they had nothing to fear, but when the gods saw one day how he had grown, they decided to render him harmless. However, none of the gods had enough courage to face the gigantic wolf. Instead, they tried to trick him. They said the wolf was weak and could never break free when he was chained. Fenrir accepted the challenge and let the gods chain him. Unfortunately, he was so immensely strong that he managed to break the strongest fetters as if they were cobwebs. After that, the gods saw only one alternative left: a magic chain. They ordered the dwarves to make something so strong that it could hold the wolf. The result was a soft, thin ribbon: Gleipnir. It was incredibly strong, despite what its size and appearance might suggest. The ribbon was fashioned of six strange elements: the footstep of a cat; the roots of a mountain; a woman's beard; the breath of fishes; the sinews of a bear; and a bird's spittle. The gods tried to trick the wolf again, only this time Fenrir was less eager to show his strength. He saw how thin the chain was, and said that was no pride in breaking such a weak chain. Eventually, though, he agreed, thinking that otherwise his strength and courage would be doubted. Suspecting treachery however, he in turn asked the gods for a token of good will: one of them had to put a hand between his jaws. The gods were not overly eager to do this, knowing what they could expect. Finally, only Tyr agreed, and the gods chained the wolf with Gleipnir. No matter how hard Fenrir struggled, he could not break free from this thin ribbon. In revenge, he bit off Tyr's hand. Being very pleased with themselves, the gods carried Fenrir off and chained him to a rock (called Gioll) a mile down into the earth. They put a sword between his jaws to prevent him from biting. On the day of Ragnarok, Fenrir will break his chains and join the giants in their battle against the gods. He will seek out Odin and devour him. Vidar, Odin's son, will avenge his father by killing the wolf.

My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 64% on Esotericism

You scored higher than 92% on Power

You scored higher than 78% on Malevolence

Link: The Mythological Profile Test written by LacedWithASmile on Ok Cupid

Cool, i get to destroy the world... :D

graium @ 2005-03-07T20:55:00

2005-03-07T20:56:10Z

layer cake is a fucking fantastic film. watch it now. :D

graium @ 2005-03-04T19:05:00

2005-03-04T19:09:33Z

was just talking to James (housemate and brother of Tom) about music and stuff, found out he was in a band so hence mentioned Jimi and At Risk. He wanted to hear some stuff, so found the EP and put it on. After about 15 secs he said "Hang on, is this Cat singing?"

Cat now offically knows *everyone* in Oxford.

Oh yeah, and he said he'll try and get me an interview at a male escort company... :D (no sex though, that would be naughty :P )

graium @ 2005-03-03T23:54:00

2005-03-03T23:55:17Z

Although its a *complete* rip-off, and i don't like Mothers day anyway, i do have to say that the interflora website rocks :)

and the light in my room has gone. gah.

graium @ 2005-02-27T16:50:00

2005-02-27T16:52:44Z

ARGH! If i ever get my hands on that bloody referee, i'm gonna take the page of the rugby rules that states who gets the put in at a scrum when the ball's held up over the try line and force feed it to him, the incompetant tosser. Well, either incompetant or paid.

graium @ 2004-11-30T22:58:00

2004-11-30T23:04:33Z

I'm afraid i'm going to have to mention the fact that

I GOT PUBLISHED BEFORE YOU, YOU FUCKERS!* :D

Yes, i know you can only see the abstract, but you can always fork out the £20 for the actual text. It's so worth it. Oh yes. ;D

(* unless someone on my friends list has managed to get a paper out without me hearing about it, in which case, bollocks :p )

graium @ 2004-11-11T13:43:00

2004-11-11T13:46:35Z

ok, slightly short notice i know, but i'll still expect people to come to transformation on saturday for my birthday celebrations! and if anyone wants to pop round to my house (which is temptingly near the zodiac) bearing alcohol beforehand, then i'm sure i could make room in my busy schedule of sitting around watching TV and playing GTA to entertain you :)

graium @ 2004-11-07T21:57:00

2004-11-07T22:00:17Z

Tom's just walked into the housae carrying a truly scary amount of fireworks, so if no-one hears from me for a while i'm either dead or have been arrested...

graium @ 2004-11-04T11:32:00

2004-11-04T11:35:45Z

Oh dear, all i can remember about last night is Jimi's theory of chemical realities, being very afraid for a sustained period of time and the phase "Now that is one fucked up Welshman". Not good.

graium @ 2004-11-03T11:37:00

2004-11-03T11:41:18Z

OK, i feel we might have to resort to sam's plan of suicide bombing george bush.

seriously, come on - there hasn't been an american president more worthy of assassination for years! GET ON WITH IT! Although the republicans might have seen this danger and circumvented it by owning all the weapons in the world and so stopping anyone else getting their hand on any...

graium @ 2004-10-28T14:10:00

2004-10-28T13:12:32Z

Pass along this small tribute, copy this code.

graium @ 2004-10-15T10:23:00

2004-10-15T09:31:09Z

ok, bigger update later, but for now a smalll request:

i'm gonna be stuck in the lab till 8 again this eve, HOWEVER, i've got nothing to do from approximately 6 till then except watch NMR spectra accumulate. Stimulating as this is, if anyone could arrange to be around town at about then i'd much prefer to go have dinner (or at least a couple of drinks) for a bit - any takers?

graium @ 2004-09-15T22:53:00

2004-09-15T21:58:17Z

i get a biochem bitch on friday! well, a part two project student who can do all my work for me and from whom i can steal all the credit... :D all gonna be quite interesting though, esp since i get to play with the fuck-off huge NMR machine that looks like a spaceship and has big pistons and stuff. although i may have to learn how to deal with UNIX. erk :S

on another note, am now considering growing a beard - not a massive bushy thing, more a sandpaper-like jaw covering - forgot to shave for a while and kinda liked the effect in terms of how it affected the perceived shape of my face. any thoughts?

graium @ 2004-09-11T22:54:00

2004-09-11T22:02:30Z

ok, finally sorted out the house internet through the cunning plan of going and buying a router that wasn't a large pile of wank as well as a load of cables which all proved to be (the first time) about a foot too short, and (the second time) the wrong kind of cables in the first place. but tis all ok now! yay!

unfortunately, jimi now seems to be in the process of developing the really, really annoying habit of msn-ing me from his computer when i'm 2 rooms away. i feel he'd benefit from aversion therapy (ie, me running in and tickling him mercilessly whenever he does it. Mwahahaa!).

graium @ 2004-09-09T15:42:00

2004-09-09T14:59:13Z

gah, ill again :( thought i'd just reached the end of my cold but got hit yesterday really badly - feel like all the energy us constantly seeping out of all my limbs, and constantly dizzy and headachey plus am having huge coughing fits (ITS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE CIGGY'S I TELL YOU!!). its probably pete's fault :p

other stuff going kinda well - experiment actually worked last week! woo!

yes, i know there's a wierd amorphous blob at the bottom. i don't know what it is either...
just hope it works when i scale it up *crosses fingers*

also got new pooter delivered yesterday, which is all shiny and new and stupidly fast (well compared to the old one anyway). and more importantly isn't irrevocably fucked. this has of course made jimi insecure about his computer ("i refuse to have a computer in the house that gets even close to mine!") leading to his embarkation on a massive upgrade fest. we still haven't sorted out house LAN (ie tom and jimi haven't :p), which is a bit of a bitch, but apparently some bloke's coming round next friday to hook up the phone line and cable TV (both of which were supposed to be sorted a month ago :S). cue jamie having no life.

graium @ 2004-08-23T14:56:00

2004-08-23T14:02:32Z

i'm trying very very hard to read a paper.

unfortunately its by a pair of scientists called Beevers and Butt, and i can't get a certain pair of MTV cartoon characters out of my head.

"pass me the ascorbate, beevers"

"huhhuhhuh. you said ass. huhhuhhuh"

"huhhuhhuh. ass. huhhuhhuh"

graium @ 2004-08-13T14:21:00

2004-08-13T13:29:10Z

fuck

In fact, that doesn't really cover it. In fact, a more fitting exclamation would be

FUCK

it has become apparent from this afternoon's work that there is a distinct possibility that i've just wasted 3 months of my D.Phil working my arse off on something that is (a)central to my project as a whole and (b) hasn't fucking worked.

And its not even discovering that something i thought was happening wasn't - its that the fucking engineering of my plants to produce the protein i'm studying has basically completely failed.

and again

FUCK

(oh and haven't been posting recently due to lack of internet connection and apathy)